Situationships

Have you ever been in a situationship? There are many definitions of this term. The one i like The best is “It’s not exactly a relationship, just a situation you’re stuck in, where you’re both unhappy but you’re trying to find some way to make it work” -urban dictionary. I’m sure most of us have been here once before. I was in a “situationship” for a long time. The last 2 years I was with this guy it turned into a situationship. I tried making it work because we loved each other and I was afraid to be alone. I knew things with this guy wouldn’t get better,  but I stuck around anyway. I still had hope that things would turn around. We kept having the same arguments over and over again and nothing would change. I began to resent him. I blamed him for everything that went wrong in our relationship. He couldn’t even make me smile anymore. This post isn’t about him though. It’s about me. I had to realize my part in this situationship. I stuck around knowing I should’ve moved on a long time ago. By sticking around, I showed him that it was okay to treat me the way that he did.  I showed him that it was okay for me to put me last on his list. I had to really look at myself and come to the realization that I was just as guilty as him. This wasn’t the first time that this has happened to me(that’s a story for another time). As I found the strength to move on from that situationship, I realized that I suffer from abandonment issues. Growing up it was just my mom, my sister and me. I didnt have a real relationship with my father. This is not a diss against him but all of these unresolved issues that I have with him has affected my adulthood relationships. I stuck around in that situationship  because I  didnt want to feel the pain of another man leaving me. I allowed myself to be placed last on his list just to keep him around. I say all of this because us women  do more than we should in a relationship just to say you’re in one. Realize your worth. God made us beautiful and strong. Recognize when it’s time to move on. Don’t allow someone to put you last. If you’re not his main focus than move on. Life is too short to be stuck with someone that’s not making you happy.

 

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